alias Herb Dean

Immediately following hurricane IKE, I became know as "Herb Dean" for several months. It's a long story, funny and true. Bear with me...

SETUP:
My friend Robert had his house sold and was supposed to close on the morning that IKE arrived, it didn't happen. He lived in a little coastal town called Bayou Vista. It's just 7 miles from Galveston island with a boat house on the canal connected to the gulf. During the storm, his house was flooded with around 8 feet of water. I had worked on Robert's house for a couple of years improving his house. It was actually the last job that Dad had worked on...He helped me lay the floors.

BACKGROUND:
After the hurricane, Robert and I worked diligently to try to get his house back to normal. We repaired the house...electrical and plumbing first. Inspections were required to have the water and electricity turned back on. At the time, city council members (aldermen) had fired the city inspector and refused to hire another. Work throughout the town stopped! We had repairs completed but couldn't get an inspection so most of the residents were sitting with no power or water for a few weeks. The Salvation Army brought a food truck and water supplies, they were great! Inspections had stopped and people needed repairs to go onward. Nobody seemed to know what to do. Bayou Vista had a very active message board with lots of angry residents that just wanted life to return to normal.

STORY:
I became an active participant on their message board, angered by the firing of the inspector in a time of crisis. Being an MMA fan, I used Herb Dean as my nickname...because he's the best referee, ever. After much bickering on the message board, I also took the nickname of one of the main culprits. He didn't bother with registering so I grabbed it. I rallied the residents to overthrow their takeover. There were three aldermen who had done some shady dealings and an election was coming up quick! I did everything I could to help remove those assholes.

DRAMA:
I became friends with the mayor, chief of police, other aldermen and lots of people in the city.  They were all emailing me, asking for help. People became more respondent to my messages than city council meetings. I was buddies with twenty of the biggest blabbermouths in the city. Election day hit and we won big! All three aldermen were replaced.

CONCLUSION:
During their election, I made posts to the message board acting as Herb Dean reporting live from election headquarters. They were defeated by a large margin. Election night, they had a party at the community center and I was urged to be there. I showed up thirty minutes late, but I heard the crowd chanting HERB DEAN, HERB DEAN! as I approached. That was pretty fricking cool! While I was there, I got to meet the people who replaced the assholes and many people who considered me to be a revolutionary. The chief of police gave me his business card with the words "get out of jail free" handwritten on the back. Robert sold his house and I haven't been back...but it was good times!

The List

Here is a list of food that I will not eat unless I'm starving to death.

Veggies:

• Onions - especially raw onion
• Spinach
• Greens - collard, mustard, turnip
• Asparagus
• Okra
• Eggplant
• leafy lettuce sucks
• Cabbage
• radishes
• pickled peppers

Meats:

• Oysters
• uncooked meat
• boiled fish is awful
• Escargot
• Squid and octopus

Sauces:

• Mayo
• Mustard
• Ketchup
• horseradish
• sour cream

Traditional foods:

• Most Italian food sucks - especially alfredo sauce
• Mediterranean food
• Brains or hearts
• Scottish food
• Carolina style barbecue - vinegar based? really??

 Texture can ruin food too.

• Soggy bread