Reports of the murder of Kris Kringle aka "Santa Clause" and "St. Nick" came pouring in from around the world today. His naked body was found floating in his hot tub with his favorite reindeer Rudolph. They apparently died of electrical shock as there were multiple strands of Christmas lights in the water. North Pole coroner Lucifer Hades pronounced them dead at 4 AM December 13th 2010.
Police suspect disgruntled elves. Elves have complained of being over worked for years. Witnesses at the scene report that elves were overheard saying "Serves that fat son of a b$^*h right..we do all the work and he got all the credit!" "Yeah...he ate ALL the milk and cookies too!" Shocked and angry reindeer Blitzen also said, "We always knew something was weird between those two, Rudolph's nose wasn't always red."
No charges have been filed
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