I dread Christmas now. Two years ago, Dad was critical in the hospital. Last year, I was having a terrible recovery but at least I wasn't in the hospital. This year, Mom had a stroke and now has a blood clot throughout her leg. I hope this isn't a trend.
I haven't prepared by purchasing any gifts. I planned to craft them at home but this month has been hell. Every waking moment of my time has been used up. Remodeling Mom's room for handicap accessibility has been just another time consumer too. Yesterday, I worked on it from 7am to 11:30 pm. I feel like life is being sucked out of me like a vampire attacking a blood bank. So this year, I'm sorry for not being prepared....I'll make up for it as soon as life returns to normal.
12/24/14
12/17/14
My Friend is Better Than Your Friend.....
Rob Johnson IS the best friend ever! Ever!...EVAARRR!! When I'm really down, he makes me laugh. If I'm too excited about something, he brings me back to reality. When things are going south...that guy SHOWS you how to stay positive! He demonstrates the way a person should be. That's one of the many reasons I admire him. We're more like brothers than friends. He's one of the best people I've ever met!
38 years we've lived through together. Hard times and good times, we've remained friends throughout. We've both married and divorced, had children, had different life experiences...but if we live and learn, we share with one another, sharing the joys and pains of life. When something hurts him, it affects me too.
Hell, I nearly killed myself at his brand new lake house. Sleepwalking, I stepped off the second floor and splattered myself on his brand new wood floor. He feels guilty and he didn't do a damn thing wrong! I did it to myself, not on purpose, but I did it! He's saved my ass financially several times but he's not rquired....He's done it because he's my best friend, not out of obligation. He's just a wonderful friend!
Nothing fruity, I just can't say enough good things about my best friend, ROB! Thanks buddy for keeping me in line! I love ya Bro!
38 years we've lived through together. Hard times and good times, we've remained friends throughout. We've both married and divorced, had children, had different life experiences...but if we live and learn, we share with one another, sharing the joys and pains of life. When something hurts him, it affects me too.
Hell, I nearly killed myself at his brand new lake house. Sleepwalking, I stepped off the second floor and splattered myself on his brand new wood floor. He feels guilty and he didn't do a damn thing wrong! I did it to myself, not on purpose, but I did it! He's saved my ass financially several times but he's not rquired....He's done it because he's my best friend, not out of obligation. He's just a wonderful friend!
Nothing fruity, I just can't say enough good things about my best friend, ROB! Thanks buddy for keeping me in line! I love ya Bro!
12/15/14
My Influence
I made a website for my Dad while he was still around to laugh about it and contribute. He put up with me and enjoyed my company, we were pretty close. I didn't realize that he saw the similarities of me and Mom. Maybe that's why he liked being around me so much, I don't know. I know he loved her and wanted her to always be happy. He told me more than once that I better take care of Mom when he was gone. He died and I've been a miserable failure about my obligation. I'm trying to remedy that.
Mom and I are so alike that we can't get along with each other normally. Headstrong, short tempered, ruthless and willing to scrap at a moments notice...but kind-hearted when the need arises. Somehow I inherited her spirit and that's probably why we don't usually agree. We both think that we're always right!
So let me tell you a little more about Mom. She had many wonderful siblings and she is the last remaining survivor. She's lost them all. She grew up tough and she grew up smart. I've heard stories of her youth that helped to mold her into a 'tough as nails' woman. She can seem as rough as a dirt road but she's actually a big softy at heart. I can't hardly stand to see her cry but her emotions take over sometimes....and it freaks me out. She's almost always on guard and not tolerant of anyone who doesn't do as they say.
My cousins used to ask Becky and I how we could live with such a mean mother. She didn't tolerate bad behavior. She would rip off a belt and whip our asses in a second or smack us in the mouth with a sandal for mouthing off. You just didn't act like an idiot around our mother! She'd straighten your ass out in a minute!!
When I was about 17, I went to a coffee shop to meet up with Mom when some woman decided give her a problem. She was talking about whipping Mom's ass when Mom told her..."That'll never happen!" They argued for minute and Mom said, "Let's step outside." So that big ole gal followed her out the door and as soon as Mom stepped through the outside door, she turned turned and knocked the crap out of her. Then, she dragged her out to the curb (by the hair) and went to wailing on her! She beat the shit out of her. Mom is tough and don't ever doubt it.
She's 75 and she has mellowed, but don't cross her...because she's still ruthless. She carries a gun and she might not whoop your ass, but she's serious. Don't fuck with Joanne!
Mom and I are so alike that we can't get along with each other normally. Headstrong, short tempered, ruthless and willing to scrap at a moments notice...but kind-hearted when the need arises. Somehow I inherited her spirit and that's probably why we don't usually agree. We both think that we're always right!
So let me tell you a little more about Mom. She had many wonderful siblings and she is the last remaining survivor. She's lost them all. She grew up tough and she grew up smart. I've heard stories of her youth that helped to mold her into a 'tough as nails' woman. She can seem as rough as a dirt road but she's actually a big softy at heart. I can't hardly stand to see her cry but her emotions take over sometimes....and it freaks me out. She's almost always on guard and not tolerant of anyone who doesn't do as they say.
My cousins used to ask Becky and I how we could live with such a mean mother. She didn't tolerate bad behavior. She would rip off a belt and whip our asses in a second or smack us in the mouth with a sandal for mouthing off. You just didn't act like an idiot around our mother! She'd straighten your ass out in a minute!!
When I was about 17, I went to a coffee shop to meet up with Mom when some woman decided give her a problem. She was talking about whipping Mom's ass when Mom told her..."That'll never happen!" They argued for minute and Mom said, "Let's step outside." So that big ole gal followed her out the door and as soon as Mom stepped through the outside door, she turned turned and knocked the crap out of her. Then, she dragged her out to the curb (by the hair) and went to wailing on her! She beat the shit out of her. Mom is tough and don't ever doubt it.
She's 75 and she has mellowed, but don't cross her...because she's still ruthless. She carries a gun and she might not whoop your ass, but she's serious. Don't fuck with Joanne!
12/14/14
Fakes Piss Me Off!
Today, I arrived at the nursing home with my head hung low and apprehension of what I would see today. By 8:30, the day shift had arrived and were busy doing everything that night shift hadn't done.
Mom's roomie, Ms. Davis was feeling sick and had called for help. She was in misery needing a bed pan, so I went around searching for someone to help her. I found the nurse and explained that she was crying and needed help. "I'll be there in just a minute!" Awesome, so Mom was sleeping and I decided to drive around the corner to get a couple things for her. I got back about 45 minutes later to find Ms. Davis still freaking out because they had not done anything for her. I was immediately angry! I headed up the hallway speaking loudly about what a shitty place this nursing home was...when Angela (director of social services) greeted me with Good Morning! "Good morning to you too." I replied. I kept walking on and went outside to calm down and have a smoke...grumbling
On the way back in, Angela greets me again...Good morning! So I continued past her muttering "Mornin" again. I got to the room and Ms. Davis was being helped so I waited outside. While I was standing there, I heard that 6 people nearby had diarrhea. Yay for someone in the kitchen not cleaning their hands! Angela strolls by again cheerfully saying Good Morning to me again. At that point, I figured it was just being fake.
Everything settles down, back in the room and Mom is awake too. She proceeds to tell me what a nightmare it is to deal with night shift there. The pad to move her has been replaced by a sheet and it's in knots. I moved it a bunch and got the wrinkles from under her but wasn't able to reposition it to help move her around the bed. I went to see if I could get some assistance where Angela again greeted me with a big Good Morning! "It would be a good morning, if I could get some help moving my mother!" 5 seconds later, there were 2 people there to help. Angela didn't even have to say anything, they just magically appeared. So we got Mom situated and everything seemed to calm down.
So at this point, I'm tired of hearing Good Morning when Angela comes into the room to greet us all once again. Ms. Davis just wanted to be left alone and she said so. Mom was awake so she wanted to gripe! Angela made a decent attempt at smoothing over all the bullshit that had already happened...long before this morning. Then she noticed Mom's linens had been on the floor and raved about how that was unacceptable. Grabbed them up and took them out of the room...never to be seen again. Cleanliness is great! She didn't bother to take a dirty hand towel that had been on the dresser for 4 days. She didn't listen to anyone, she raised her voice and spoke over Mom and I.
Fake fucker acting like she cares...I just wanted to knock her ass out. It's OK to leave a woman to shit all over herself but it's unacceptable to see linens touch the floor....Get real!
Mom's roomie, Ms. Davis was feeling sick and had called for help. She was in misery needing a bed pan, so I went around searching for someone to help her. I found the nurse and explained that she was crying and needed help. "I'll be there in just a minute!" Awesome, so Mom was sleeping and I decided to drive around the corner to get a couple things for her. I got back about 45 minutes later to find Ms. Davis still freaking out because they had not done anything for her. I was immediately angry! I headed up the hallway speaking loudly about what a shitty place this nursing home was...when Angela (director of social services) greeted me with Good Morning! "Good morning to you too." I replied. I kept walking on and went outside to calm down and have a smoke...grumbling
On the way back in, Angela greets me again...Good morning! So I continued past her muttering "Mornin" again. I got to the room and Ms. Davis was being helped so I waited outside. While I was standing there, I heard that 6 people nearby had diarrhea. Yay for someone in the kitchen not cleaning their hands! Angela strolls by again cheerfully saying Good Morning to me again. At that point, I figured it was just being fake.
Everything settles down, back in the room and Mom is awake too. She proceeds to tell me what a nightmare it is to deal with night shift there. The pad to move her has been replaced by a sheet and it's in knots. I moved it a bunch and got the wrinkles from under her but wasn't able to reposition it to help move her around the bed. I went to see if I could get some assistance where Angela again greeted me with a big Good Morning! "It would be a good morning, if I could get some help moving my mother!" 5 seconds later, there were 2 people there to help. Angela didn't even have to say anything, they just magically appeared. So we got Mom situated and everything seemed to calm down.
So at this point, I'm tired of hearing Good Morning when Angela comes into the room to greet us all once again. Ms. Davis just wanted to be left alone and she said so. Mom was awake so she wanted to gripe! Angela made a decent attempt at smoothing over all the bullshit that had already happened...long before this morning. Then she noticed Mom's linens had been on the floor and raved about how that was unacceptable. Grabbed them up and took them out of the room...never to be seen again. Cleanliness is great! She didn't bother to take a dirty hand towel that had been on the dresser for 4 days. She didn't listen to anyone, she raised her voice and spoke over Mom and I.
Fake fucker acting like she cares...I just wanted to knock her ass out. It's OK to leave a woman to shit all over herself but it's unacceptable to see linens touch the floor....Get real!
12/11/14
Park Manor Experience
Park Manor labels themselves as a "Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation Center." They do have some good employees but they are severely understaffed.
Our experience has been pretty bad. Mom arrived on Saturday and still hasn't had a bath. (It's Thursday!) Somehow they "lost" two meals in one day so she got whatever they had left in their kitchen rather than what I filled out on their menu. I also fill out the menu for her roommate and turn them in at the same time, she hasn't had a problem. Certainly, mistakes are made, but it seems intentional twice in one day.
They get her out of bed and into the wheelchair in the mornings and leave her sitting across the room from her call button. Tuesday, they left her for hours sitting crooked in the wheelchair when she had no visitor. They promptly got her back to bed as soon as I showed up.
Medications are also a big problem. Her medication list shows that she should be getting pain and sleep aids. She hasn't received them much but their records indicate that they are giving them to her. I don't know who's stealing them but that's bullshit! She had a terrible headache the other night and asked for pain meds around 6 pm...she finally got it after 9:30. That's the only time I've seen her get any pain medication.
She's been ignored by staff many times while I was there to see it. "I'll be right back..." and then they don't come back for hours. She's been left on a bed pan for hours too. If Becky and I didn't show up, she would be full of bedsores because they rarely turn her too. We do it. The list goes on and on and we're keeping a bedside journal to document what's happening.
I think we just need her home. I'll care for her the best I can. I wish I knew more about how to help with rehabilitation so her life can get back to normal. In the meantime, I'll do everything possible to make her comfortable and ensure she isn't mistreated.
Our experience has been pretty bad. Mom arrived on Saturday and still hasn't had a bath. (It's Thursday!) Somehow they "lost" two meals in one day so she got whatever they had left in their kitchen rather than what I filled out on their menu. I also fill out the menu for her roommate and turn them in at the same time, she hasn't had a problem. Certainly, mistakes are made, but it seems intentional twice in one day.
They get her out of bed and into the wheelchair in the mornings and leave her sitting across the room from her call button. Tuesday, they left her for hours sitting crooked in the wheelchair when she had no visitor. They promptly got her back to bed as soon as I showed up.
Medications are also a big problem. Her medication list shows that she should be getting pain and sleep aids. She hasn't received them much but their records indicate that they are giving them to her. I don't know who's stealing them but that's bullshit! She had a terrible headache the other night and asked for pain meds around 6 pm...she finally got it after 9:30. That's the only time I've seen her get any pain medication.
She's been ignored by staff many times while I was there to see it. "I'll be right back..." and then they don't come back for hours. She's been left on a bed pan for hours too. If Becky and I didn't show up, she would be full of bedsores because they rarely turn her too. We do it. The list goes on and on and we're keeping a bedside journal to document what's happening.
I think we just need her home. I'll care for her the best I can. I wish I knew more about how to help with rehabilitation so her life can get back to normal. In the meantime, I'll do everything possible to make her comfortable and ensure she isn't mistreated.
12/3/14
Incompetence
Monday about 11 am Mom went down to her garage to do some things and didn't come back for a while. About 1 pm I went over there to see if she would mind if I stored a vanity over there. When I got there, she was on the floor and had been there for about an hour trying to get up. So I got her stood up and she couldn't hardly keep her balance. She got to her car and said she was heading home. She was exhausted from trying to get herself up.
Once home, she fell again in her room and she hollered for Becky to help her. Becky got her up and to the couch where she laid down to rest. Sitting up, she fell off the couch when Becky called me for help. We got her up again and her left leg wasn't moving for her so we decided to take her to the hospital, she wouldn't take an ambulance. Wrestling her into the car was quite a job.
We got to St. Luke's emergency room at 5:35, I signed Mom in and we were told to wait. The triage nurse saw her in about 30 minutes and Mom wasn't showing signs of stroke...yet she had symptoms. We waited there until 10:30 pm before Mom decided it was time to throw a fit about it. She got mad and complained and they shuffled her right into the E.R. After X-rays, they saw that yes, she had bleeding on her brain. We got everything ready for an MRI and were sent home around 2 am.
Tuesday morning we got there and they were prepping her for brain surgery. They said she was heading to the operating room and we could see the doctor at the O.R. waiting room. The doctor who performed the operation was told that no family was there. So they finished the operation and moved her to ICU. Around 5:30, I buzzed and asked about Mom and she wasn't even at the O.R. anymore! No communication whatsoever!! We got to her room in ICU, she's on a ventilator, the nurse gave us all good news but we won't know anything again until morning.
This morning, Becky finally got to talk to the doctor. Doc paints a lot bleaker picture than the nurses have been saying. IF she regains use of her arm and leg it's going to take a long time!
If we had recognized the stroke immediately on Monday, she probably wouldn't be in this predicament. If they had taken immediate action at the hospital, she might still be walking now. I'm mad as hell and think that a lawsuit is actually needed this time. I don't like people who try to profit from a person doing their job....but this has been ridiculous and completely preventable.
Once home, she fell again in her room and she hollered for Becky to help her. Becky got her up and to the couch where she laid down to rest. Sitting up, she fell off the couch when Becky called me for help. We got her up again and her left leg wasn't moving for her so we decided to take her to the hospital, she wouldn't take an ambulance. Wrestling her into the car was quite a job.
We got to St. Luke's emergency room at 5:35, I signed Mom in and we were told to wait. The triage nurse saw her in about 30 minutes and Mom wasn't showing signs of stroke...yet she had symptoms. We waited there until 10:30 pm before Mom decided it was time to throw a fit about it. She got mad and complained and they shuffled her right into the E.R. After X-rays, they saw that yes, she had bleeding on her brain. We got everything ready for an MRI and were sent home around 2 am.
Tuesday morning we got there and they were prepping her for brain surgery. They said she was heading to the operating room and we could see the doctor at the O.R. waiting room. The doctor who performed the operation was told that no family was there. So they finished the operation and moved her to ICU. Around 5:30, I buzzed and asked about Mom and she wasn't even at the O.R. anymore! No communication whatsoever!! We got to her room in ICU, she's on a ventilator, the nurse gave us all good news but we won't know anything again until morning.
This morning, Becky finally got to talk to the doctor. Doc paints a lot bleaker picture than the nurses have been saying. IF she regains use of her arm and leg it's going to take a long time!
If we had recognized the stroke immediately on Monday, she probably wouldn't be in this predicament. If they had taken immediate action at the hospital, she might still be walking now. I'm mad as hell and think that a lawsuit is actually needed this time. I don't like people who try to profit from a person doing their job....but this has been ridiculous and completely preventable.
Reality Sets In...
The nurses try to keep the outlook positive, Doctors point out reality. After speaking to the doctor, Becky got the real update.
Mom's episode was likely caused by a stroke. Possibly because she hasn't taken her blood pressure medicine correctly. She may never gain use of her left leg again. They are still concerned about her left arm too. IF she gets better, it's going to take a long time with rehabilitation.
Not what I was hoping to hear.
Mom's episode was likely caused by a stroke. Possibly because she hasn't taken her blood pressure medicine correctly. She may never gain use of her left leg again. They are still concerned about her left arm too. IF she gets better, it's going to take a long time with rehabilitation.
Not what I was hoping to hear.
12/2/14
Hospital Again
Here's what we know so far... Yesterday Mom fell down at her garage. I went over there and happened to find her sprawled on the floor. She had laid there for an hour before I showed up. I got her up and she waddled out to the car exhausted from trying to get up. After she got home, she fell two more times before we got her to the hospital. She didn't want to pay for an ambulance ride so Becky and I wrestled her into the car.
We got to the hospital (St. Lukes) at 5:30 and she told them her leg wasn't working. She was showing signs of stroke because her left arm and leg weren't moving right. So we waited...and waited and waited in the waiting room for 5 hours before Mom threw a fit and they got her back to see a doctor. After X-rays, they said she had no broken bones but she did have a mass on her right side of her brain. We don't know yet if it's from bleeding or an object, but something is there. They scheduled an MRI and told us we would know more in the morning. They couldn't get her into a room because the hospital is full again. So she's at the ER and there isn't a number for everyone to call.
That's where we're at and we can't answer 40 questions from everyone because THAT's all we know so far. I'm headed down there and they don't allow phones in the ER. Be patient and I'll update when I can.
**UPDATE 1**
Around 12:30 she went into the OR...she has a blood clot on her brain that they are removing. She elected to go ahead and have it removed so she wouldn't have a such a long recovery. The operation will take a few hours.
We got to the hospital (St. Lukes) at 5:30 and she told them her leg wasn't working. She was showing signs of stroke because her left arm and leg weren't moving right. So we waited...and waited and waited in the waiting room for 5 hours before Mom threw a fit and they got her back to see a doctor. After X-rays, they said she had no broken bones but she did have a mass on her right side of her brain. We don't know yet if it's from bleeding or an object, but something is there. They scheduled an MRI and told us we would know more in the morning. They couldn't get her into a room because the hospital is full again. So she's at the ER and there isn't a number for everyone to call.
That's where we're at and we can't answer 40 questions from everyone because THAT's all we know so far. I'm headed down there and they don't allow phones in the ER. Be patient and I'll update when I can.
**UPDATE 1**
Around 12:30 she went into the OR...she has a blood clot on her brain that they are removing. She elected to go ahead and have it removed so she wouldn't have a such a long recovery. The operation will take a few hours.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)