Mean old lady

A couple days ago I was waiting in line to check out at the grocery store. There was an old white haired lady with two shopping carts full of groceries behind me with a big scowl on her face because they only had one cashier working. The cashier was actually going very fast and the line was moving pretty quickly. Another woman got into line with a gallon of milk holding a five dollar bill. I asked her if she wanted to go ahead of me since she only had one item, she smiled and said "Thank you!" The old lady behind me started ranting about how if she were still young and pretty, I would have let her go in front of me too....bitching on and on about it. I never said a word and continued checking out. Then the old lady decided that she would keep inching forward and bumping my cart into me. At this point I was getting perturbed and wanted to stick her cart up her ass, but I kept smiling and checking out. I paid out and as the cashier handed me my receipt she rolled her eyes as if to tell me she understood and could sympathize. I just smiled even bigger and cut a nasty fart just before I walked away. The old lady pushed forward and said, "It's about time!" I was making my way out the door and I was smiling even bigger as I heard her start to cough and choke on the noxious gas. I don't always drink beer..but when I do, don't follow me in line at the grocery store!