Wrong number...

I keep getting phone calls from bill collectors asking for a "Mike Rogers"...I keep explaining that he doesn't have this number anymore and please take my number off their calling list. Regardless, the same companies keep calling back day after day burning up my minutes, almost always with "unidentified number" in Caller ID. Simple fix..I stopped answering my phone if I didn't recognize the number calling me. So even with my voice mail announcing my name..they started filling my inbox with messages for Mike! So I decided to have a little fun with them. Here's how one conversation went:

• "Hello, TJ speaking." (long pause) 
• "Good morning sir, is this Michael Rogers" 
• "No..are you deaf? my name is TJ!"
• "Could I speak to Michael Rogers?" 
• "I'm sure you can if you call him instead of me!" 
• "This is an urgent matter for Mr. Rogers..." 
• "So what's this have to do with me?" 
• "Well Mr. Rogers, you are more than 90 days late on your payment schedule" 
• "Ok..what was your name again?"
• "My name is unimportant...I need a promise from you that you will get back on schedule"
• "I can't believe this"
• "Pretending to be someone else will not work with me Mr. Rogers"
• "What number are you calling?"
• "Our computer only dials the numbers on your account information"
• "I guess you got me there!"
• "You obviously don't pay your bills, I can see it here on your credit report!"
• "So how can I help?"
• "You could make a payment in good faith"
• "I don't have my wallet handy, can you just charge my credit card?"
• "Which card would you like us to charge the payment?"
• "Oh..how about Visa..what's the amount to get my account current?"
• "Fine Mike, I'll be deducting $42.13 from your Visa card upon your approval"
• "I approve!....but I'm still not Mike"
• "I'll need your social security number for verification"
• "It should be on my credit report and also on my credit application...I don't say it over the phone"
• "I only need the last four digits"
• "I don't have my wallet but I may remember it..read it back to me"
• "4639??"
• "yep that's it!"
• "Thank you for your payment..is there anything else I can do for you today?"
• "Yes, what's my balance?"
• "the payment has reinstated your account...your balance is zero"
• "What is my credit limit on this card?"
• "Your limit was reduced from $600 down to $400 because of the delinquent status"
• "I need your name and a confirmation number"
• (reads a long number back to me but still gives no name) 
• "I've had bad experiences with Kohl's before, can I get your name so I can always deal with you personally since you were so helpful?"
• "Thank you sir...my name is LeWanda."
• "By the way LeWanda...I'm STILL not Mike!"

I was overjoyed to know that I wouldn't be getting anymore threatening calls from LeWanda to collect less than $50. I'll never shop at Kohl's...and you shouldn't either!