One more year..down the drain

We made it past 10 years into the millenium. Now all we have to do is get past that Mayan calendar thing. Happy New Year to everyone. Happy Birthday to Trey too! Get well soon Sonny, Terry, Elaine and Jennifer!

YouTube - Sen. Franken: Stop the Corporate Takeover of the Media

YouTube - Sen. Franken: Stop the Corporate Takeover of the Media

This just in...Santa murdered!

Reports of the murder of Kris Kringle aka "Santa Clause" and "St. Nick" came pouring in from around the world today. His naked body was found floating in his hot tub with his favorite reindeer Rudolph. They apparently died of electrical shock as there were multiple strands of Christmas lights in the water. North Pole coroner Lucifer Hades pronounced them dead at 4 AM December 13th 2010.

Police suspect disgruntled elves. Elves have complained of being over worked for years. Witnesses at the scene report that elves were overheard saying "Serves that fat son of a b$^*h right..we do all the work and he got all the credit!" "Yeah...he ate ALL the milk and cookies too!" Shocked and angry reindeer Blitzen also said, "We always knew something was weird between those two, Rudolph's nose wasn't always red."

No charges have been filed.

UFC 124 picks

Miller over Doerksen √

Almeida over Grant √

Hazelett over Bocek X

Riddle over Pierson X

McCorkle over Struve X

Stevenson over Danzig X

Oilveira over Miller X

Alves over Howard √

GSP over Koscheck  √

4 of 9...not very good picks tonight!

Just think...

Now I'm hearing about a tax on soft drinks intended to force obese people to reduce intake..therefore reducing their caloric intake and thus losing weight. That's right, it's a tax for being fat. Pardon me, but I don't believe that anyone hyped up on Mountain Dew is going to be obese forever. Reduce a fat persons caffeine intake and watch what happens. Their logic is backwards.

Another example of their logic being screwy..Tobacco. Smokers are bad people. We know this, everyone points it out and has attempted to make us be shunned completely by society. The argument in question is that non-smokers believe that they will be paying for the health care of smokers.  Tax them to death so they can't afford to smoke and their health issues will be magically solved. All the former smokers will live to be very old thanks to the decision makers of today! My question is this: If they live longer..won't it cost us all more to keep them healthy so they can live longer? What about Social Security benefits...if they live longer we'll be paying more people over the age of 65. So the end result is astounding...People who smoke tend to die younger so we don't pay as long for them. If you just need to tax for revenue..tax water. Everybody needs and uses it...not just a select group.

Mark my words..they are already working on ways to tax your air intake. Sooner or later someone is gonna say that you're breathing up all of their air!

UFC 123 Picks

Tyson Griffin
Paul Kelly
Edson Barbosa
Karo Parisyan
Aaron Simpson
Matt Brown
Phil Davis
Gerald Harris
Matt Hughes
Quinton Jackson
I'm taking a few underdogs tonight thinking it's going to be an UPSET night. Best of luck to all who follow UFC!

This kid is pretty good!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

UFC 121 Picks

Sam Stout vs. Paul Taylor
Both these guys are tough and it will probably be the fight of the night. I'm going with Stout.
√ WINNER Stout by decision again.

Tom Lawlor vs. Patrick Cote
Cote has been nursing a bad knee for a couple years now. Lawlor doesn't bring much to the table for Cote...Cote by TKO.
√ LOSER Lawlor dominated Cote like a little bitch!

Brendan Schaub vs. Gabriel Gonzaga
Schaub seems to be getting stronger and better each time out. Gonzaga on the other hand is unpredictable. He looks awesome then he puts in a minimum effort. I'll take Schaub.
√ WINNER total domination by Schaub

Tito Ortiz vs. Matt Hamill
Tito is aging quickly. Hamill gets better on his feet every time he fights. Tito is in for another epic loss, hopefully good. He talks a lot of smack and can't back it up anymore.
√ WINNER Hamill won convincingly!

Paulo Thiago vs. Diego Sanchez
Thiago is tough as nails but Diego is a better fighter. If Diego stops trying to be Manny Paquiao, he wins easily with ground and pound. I think this will be a slow technical fight with Diego winning by decision.
√ WINNER Diego completely kicked his ass! That was one dirty Sanchez tonight!

Jake Shields vs. Martin Kampmann
Shields recently beat Dan Henderson at 185. He's lost 15 lbs to start fighting at welterweight and I think it's going to have a big effect on him. Kampmann has range, solid ground skills and he's a grinder. I'll take Shields but Kampmann can definitely be a spoiler in this one.
√ WINNER Shields just squeaked out the win because Kampmann tried to beat him on the ground..dumb mistake because Shield's was exhausted at the end of round 2. 

Brock Lesnar vs. Cain Velasquez
Brock is a big boy! He keeps winning because he's tough too. Velasquez is crafty on his feet and stays busy. I haven't seen Cain on his back but I think he can keep it standing. He'll definitely last longer than Carwin. Again, I'm going against Lesnar because his skill set is so limited. If it goes to the ground immediately with Lesnar on top..I'll be eating crow again. Velasquez is my pick!
√ WINNER...TOTAL domination by Velasquez! Just a good first round beatdown!!

Turned out to be an awesome night of fights! Diego probably should get fight of the night.  Roberts will most likely get submission of the night. Fun fights tonight!

Remote Cuntrol

It's what every man needs...the ultimate way to shut that b!tch up. Improved smart sound..there's no need to adjust the volume..it keeps her at a minimum especially during the big game! She won't get as many headaches due to screaming and nagging all the time! New feature buttons include:

• enhanced mood level (for those times you feel frisky but she doesn't)
• STFU
• clean the kitchen
• sleep function
• no flirt feature (can be used in conjunction with timer)
• beer run
• Go make me a sandwich

Anti PMS technology built right into the box! Make your woman happy, treat yourself to the latest in controlling technology. Buy it today, you'll be glad you did!
BUT WAIT...THERE'S MORE!!!
Those who have families can also purchase the Kid control module! Simply snap it on and keep the kids under control too! Separate shipping and handling charges apply.
©Total control products

New philosophy

I decided tonight that the next time my neighbors get out of hand I'm going to go out in the front yard and crank up the chain saw...in any Halloween mask that I can find! I'm betting that I can put a stop to stupid shit going on around my house!

Wrong number...

I keep getting phone calls from bill collectors asking for a "Mike Rogers"...I keep explaining that he doesn't have this number anymore and please take my number off their calling list. Regardless, the same companies keep calling back day after day burning up my minutes, almost always with "unidentified number" in Caller ID. Simple fix..I stopped answering my phone if I didn't recognize the number calling me. So even with my voice mail announcing my name..they started filling my inbox with messages for Mike! So I decided to have a little fun with them. Here's how one conversation went:

• "Hello, TJ speaking." (long pause) 
• "Good morning sir, is this Michael Rogers" 
• "No..are you deaf? my name is TJ!"
• "Could I speak to Michael Rogers?" 
• "I'm sure you can if you call him instead of me!" 
• "This is an urgent matter for Mr. Rogers..." 
• "So what's this have to do with me?" 
• "Well Mr. Rogers, you are more than 90 days late on your payment schedule" 
• "Ok..what was your name again?"
• "My name is unimportant...I need a promise from you that you will get back on schedule"
• "I can't believe this"
• "Pretending to be someone else will not work with me Mr. Rogers"
• "What number are you calling?"
• "Our computer only dials the numbers on your account information"
• "I guess you got me there!"
• "You obviously don't pay your bills, I can see it here on your credit report!"
• "So how can I help?"
• "You could make a payment in good faith"
• "I don't have my wallet handy, can you just charge my credit card?"
• "Which card would you like us to charge the payment?"
• "Oh..how about Visa..what's the amount to get my account current?"
• "Fine Mike, I'll be deducting $42.13 from your Visa card upon your approval"
• "I approve!....but I'm still not Mike"
• "I'll need your social security number for verification"
• "It should be on my credit report and also on my credit application...I don't say it over the phone"
• "I only need the last four digits"
• "I don't have my wallet but I may remember it..read it back to me"
• "4639??"
• "yep that's it!"
• "Thank you for your payment..is there anything else I can do for you today?"
• "Yes, what's my balance?"
• "the payment has reinstated your account...your balance is zero"
• "What is my credit limit on this card?"
• "Your limit was reduced from $600 down to $400 because of the delinquent status"
• "I need your name and a confirmation number"
• (reads a long number back to me but still gives no name) 
• "I've had bad experiences with Kohl's before, can I get your name so I can always deal with you personally since you were so helpful?"
• "Thank you sir...my name is LeWanda."
• "By the way LeWanda...I'm STILL not Mike!"

I was overjoyed to know that I wouldn't be getting anymore threatening calls from LeWanda to collect less than $50. I'll never shop at Kohl's...and you shouldn't either!

Mean old lady

A couple days ago I was waiting in line to check out at the grocery store. There was an old white haired lady with two shopping carts full of groceries behind me with a big scowl on her face because they only had one cashier working. The cashier was actually going very fast and the line was moving pretty quickly. Another woman got into line with a gallon of milk holding a five dollar bill. I asked her if she wanted to go ahead of me since she only had one item, she smiled and said "Thank you!" The old lady behind me started ranting about how if she were still young and pretty, I would have let her go in front of me too....bitching on and on about it. I never said a word and continued checking out. Then the old lady decided that she would keep inching forward and bumping my cart into me. At this point I was getting perturbed and wanted to stick her cart up her ass, but I kept smiling and checking out. I paid out and as the cashier handed me my receipt she rolled her eyes as if to tell me she understood and could sympathize. I just smiled even bigger and cut a nasty fart just before I walked away. The old lady pushed forward and said, "It's about time!" I was making my way out the door and I was smiling even bigger as I heard her start to cough and choke on the noxious gas. I don't always drink beer..but when I do, don't follow me in line at the grocery store!

Houston, we have a problem...

I was pretty excited about a new social networking project promising security and privacy called Diaspore. Four NYU students decided to try their hand at coding a new and better facebook..but their code is flawed from the start. Now it seems that someone is going to have to get talented coders and security professionals together to make such a project actually work. (not just a bunch of ambitious students) It's actually a huge opportunity and somebody with some financial backing is going to have to make it happen.
Facebook will die just like MySpace because they have their own interests at heart. It's all about the money...and privacy is a very real issue. I think I have a better idea and I'm trying to get help coding it. We'll see in the near future.

While you're not doing anything...

I hear this phrase a lot. Sometimes, it's a true statement...but sometimes it's a matter of someone not realizing my priorities. It's generally followed up with, "Would you mind.."

• paying the bills?
• take out the trash?
• rearranging the furniture?
• cooking another fantastic meal?
• driving across Houston for something stupid?
• mowing the yard, trimming the bushes...in our yard AND the neighbors?
• tearing out the floors and replacing them?
• fixing the heater?
• taking all the fans apart and cleaning them?
• working on my computer?
• helping me get through another college course?
• getting some cash from the ATM so someone else can go out of town?
• bailing me out?
• giving the dogs a bath?
• building another barn?
• fixing my car/van/truck?
• teaching me how to......on a computer?
• print a map, record a recipe, email a "website", copy all your photos to my computer, I want a song..get it for me, fix the internet, rewire all the phones, maintain the oxygen maker, change oxygen bottles, put another O2 bottle in the car/van/truck, load everything, repair  broken furniture, level the house, build a bigger porch, fix the boat, buy a new battery and install it in...WHATEVER!!!!

Anybody who thinks I'm just a lazy ass who doesn't want a job should come and try to do everything I do. This may sound like a bitching rant...but it's not. I wish everybody had a f-ing clue about what's required of me. Yes, sometimes I gripe about it...but I do it..day in and day out. I'm claustrophobic and I'm asked constantly to crawl under the house and move cable wires to suit someone elses whim. I don't like it but I usually do it once I gather the strength to fight through the claustrophobia. I love my family and I do it all for their betterment. If you have an outstanding job and get paid well for it..congratulations! Everything I do helps the people around me, knowing that I helped improve their lives is what drives me everyday. It's possible that I need a hug every now and then...but thanks isn't required.

Walk a mile in my shoes before you get lippy with me!

Career path

Most of you know that I don't have a job. I'm trying to plan something for when I'm going to be forced to take care of everyone. Dad's health is steadily getting worse and I'm getting nerve wracked about it. When things go awry...I need to have a backup plan in place. Here's a taste of my skillsets.

• I can repair or replace computer hardware.
• I can lay ceramic tile and marble.
• I have a talent for graphics design.
• I am a decent carpenter.
• I was a child care counselor.
• I know electronics. (circuitry/wiring/soldering)
• I was a draftsman.
• I'm versed in web design.
• I was a powder coater.
• I was a maintenance man for a school and orphanage also in the Navy.
• I have been a janitor.
• I've been a political activist.
• I drew blueprints for an architect.
• I am well versed in networking and computer systems.
• I've been a system administrator.
• I also stacked product and loaded trucks for a large food distributor.
• I can estimate construction jobs.
• I've been a building supervisor for a construction company.
• I'm a great handyman.
• I worked on missile guidance systems, navigation, RADAR, communications and instrumentation.

As you can tell, I have a wide range of interests and skills. None of them jump out and hold my attention for long. I get bored way too easily. I like a challenge and to learn new things constantly. If anybody knows of a career that keeps changing every 3-4 months...I'd love to know about it. For now, I have to try to work from home so that I can take care of an ailing father. Soon, I've got to get busy and find a career that isn't stagnant so I won't be dreading going to work daily. I enjoy graphic design but don't have any experience other than for myself.
I have the tools and skills to work on your computer from my home as long as your computer can boot and have internet connectivity. Trey could certainly stand to gain from the income too. Anyway, just thinking out loud..or actually in type....Peace!

If real life were like Facebook...

Life would be awesome! I could ignore hateful people with the click of a button. People you don't care to know..HIDE them and boom, they're gone! You could always delete what you said if it wasn't what you meant. You could stay in touch with friends from long ago on a daily basis. Parents might understand their kids better. You find out that quiet people aren't really as quiet as they seem.
The only downside I see is that we trade our privacy for applications and games. That's a pretty steep price for having simple things. Pick and choose your friends carefully. All in all, facebook has been a pretty cool experience. I'm glad to have the opportunity to find old friends and see whats happened in their lives!

Digg

Well today they finally did it. Digg.com has officially screwed themselves to death. They revamped the site and it's practically useless now. Their new format is ridiculous. I'm not sure how anyone could take a great idea like Digg and hose it up so bad. Anyway, I recommend that everybody stop using the site and maybe they will get the message. Down with Digg!

Thanks Google!

Really, I enjoy almost every Google product. Recently I heard they canceled Google Wave too. Awesome job guys...ever tried opening a product up so it could be used without the idiotic INVITE system?? I just recently got to use it because I finally got someone to go through the arduous process to sign up for it. Great product, poor way to get it being used.
My biggest gripe with Google now is how they sold us all out! They took a solid position in supporting net neutrality originally. They got into bed with Verizon and came up with a tiered strategy...the very thing Google themselves warned us about. Soon we're all going to be steered to "sponsored" sites and won't have a choice on the web. They will throttle connections to rival sites and wealthy people will be the only ones able to use the net as it was conceived. Google, if you can't stick to your original plans...Don't publish bullshit and then turn around and do the exact opposite. Thanks Google for being the Benedict Arnold of the internet!

Senator Ted Stevens Eulogy

Today Senator Stevens died in a fiery plane crash in Alaska. Years ago, his wife also died in a plane crash. It is indeed a sad occasion because he gave me so much useful funny stuff to write about...he will be missed.
His grand idea to build a 398 million dollar bridge to nowhere was pure genius. His famous comments explaining the inner workings of the "internets" was classic comedy. His opposition to net neutrality was matched only by AT&T, Verizon and other telcos and cable companies. It's truly hard to imagine anyone being as corrupted and heavily lobbied as Mr. Stevens. In his illustrious 86 years of humping the American people, his accomplishments will long be remembered. His convictions were numerous and he always did what is right and true for the benefit of his pocketbook.
"The internets...are... are...a...are..a series of tubes! And sometimes, when those tubes become clogged... uh...uh...I can't get my internets." (a direct quote while he was an acting senator attempting to block net neutrality) This a demoralizing testament of the incompetence of our elected leaders in Washington. Let's clean house and start with people who actually have a clue about the world today.
R.I.P. Ted, your legacy lives on through the tubes!!

Dandy Don Devine

Back when I got to Atsugi Japan, my supervisor was Don Devine. When I got there, he told me if I ever needed anything just to let him know. He said "I'm here for YOU guys!"
He seemed like an alright guy at the time, but like mold..he grows on you, just not in a good way. He had a ritual of taking you outside to chew your ass for stupid ass reasons. He called it "the tree" and if he suddenly was mad..he would point and say, "TREE!" This guy was wound up as tight as a gnat's ass wrapped around a 55 gallon barrel. Anyway, he didn't like me much and did everything he could to screw me over. I didn't get the worst of it either, there was a tall skinny blonde kid (Clark-Asheby) who caught the brunt of Don's wrath. I can't think of his name but he was a pretty good kid, just young and a little goofy. We got all the shitty jobs even after we weren't the new guys anymore.
Don was "here for YOU guys" until his ass was on the chopping block...he would offer you up as a sacrificial lamb in a heartbeat. He kissed every chief's ass that came within 100 feet of him.
Don sent me to anger management classes because I told him I had dreams of killing him every night. Not nightmares..DREAMS! I told him once that he better hope he doesn't die because I would stop by every morning to piss on his grave. The sad part is that I meant every word.
Things came to a boiling point and I figured I was going to end up in the brig for killing him. He came and asked me if I wanted to take a different job running 1st Louie on the day I earned 3rd class. I wanted away from him and I accepted. 1st Louie is the clean up squad, we cleaned all the shitters. He thought he was screwing me but I did pretty well. I was a third class petty officer doing the same job as second class guys. I was the supervisor and I only answered to the Command Master Chief. It was actually great for awhile. I had good guys working with me and I could talk them into doing a really good job. I got commendations and stuff that helped me get a better score on my advancement tests. I made second class and I barely knew anything about the jets.
After Don left the squadron, I finally got to go back to working on aircraft. Within the month, since I made second class...they made me night check supervisor. Again, I had to rely on the other guys because I didn't know shit. Nightly I had to sign off on the jets that they could go flying and I just had to trust the guys in the shop. Shortly after that, my time was up and I got to go home.
I really appreciate guys like Secor, Nicoll, Mammola, Doc, Sysko, Larsen, Lucy, O'Hare, Wade, Althouse, and a bunch of others...they got me through. Thanks buddies!!

Humor me

Some people don't enjoy my sense of humor. That's fine and dandy. Sometimes it's sarcastic, other times it is just quick wit...you never know what I'm going to say. I also try to keep it clean but not always. That's the reason I don't have minors as friends on facebook. I'm having fun and I just say what I think. My goal is to brighten the day of all my friends and family.
If you find my humor offensive or can't handle a dirty joke once in a while...remove me as a friend. It won't hurt my feelings, I guarantee it! Don't fill my wall with hatred and I'll do my best to make you smile once in a while! Deal??

Call me

I've had Google Voice since before Google bought Grand Central and renamed it. It's a very neat program and if you have multiple phones you can have them all ring from people calling one number. Also, you can transfer the call from your home phone to your cell (or vise-versa) DURING a call. It's pretty handy, I like it. Give it a try! Sign up at voice.google.com
Give it a try and press the Call Me button on the right! 

Another cool thing I tried out is called Google Wave, you can share all kinds of things and collaborate on projects in real time. If you have a Google account, sign up for Wave and join me, it's very useful.

I also added Scam School at the bottom of the page.

Tomjtexas

Most everybody knows my Dad is known online as tomjtexas. He's probably the closest friend I ever knew. I feel like that is the coolest thing ever too, Dad feels the same way about me. The only time we argue is when I'm being a dick. He's actually a pretty amazing guy. The more I'm around him, the more I resemble him. I only aspire to be as good to other people as he has been. He's always helped others who were unfortunate.

Dad helped countless homeless folks, gave them a job if they could work, he usually gave them shelter in our house and welcomed them like they were family. Amazingly we never had anybody take advantage of Dad's generosity. The only time we were ripped off, it was from other people he knew. Anyway, I learned a lesson from him and that's to give people the benefit of the doubt and trust folks that you treat well. It's weird, Dad seems like he has a cult following because he's just GOOD to others.

The generosity of my Dad wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Randy Patton. He saved my Dad's life, for real. Dad was sandblasting at the quarry and his ladder started sliding toward a huge hole while he was at the top, Randy stopped the ladder and saved my Dad's life. I wouldn't have had such a great relationship with my father if he wouldn't have done that. I owe a lot to Randy Patton for doing that. He's a hero in my eyes for that.

Technology

Some of you know that I'm heavily into technology, gadgets, computers and electronics. Some of you just think I'm a tile guy. That's OK with me, I enjoy it when I've been underestimated. The point of this post is to let everyone know that there is a whole other world out there that takes things and makes them work better...more efficiently or changes them to do something else altogether. It's called hacking. I know that word strikes fear into people that don't really understand hacks, but I'm not talking about ruining someones computer. That's for punks that cause problems rather than help solve problems.  Those idiots are called "crackers" and I would love to see them eradicated from the face of the planet. They give true hackers a bad name. I actually am a hacker and I'm proud of that distinction.

Virus writers and scam artists are douchebags with the sole intention of screwing things up or stealing from good honest folks. They prey on people who have limited knowledge about the devices they use everyday. I encourage you to READ every popup and to take the time to not just accept any file or program that you did not seek out for yourself. If a popup says "You have been infected with such and such virus...click to install our program" it is most definitely going to slow down your computer. It is also most definitely itself a virus, spyware or malware. Be wary of free stuff, it's usually a trap to get your information, contacts or to steal your money. Just my two cents, but I hope it helps everyone!

Friends and Family

You can't pick your family. I can however choose my friends. There is good and bad in both groups. When looking back over your life, you see friends that have been lost over the years...they weren't really your good friends. Good friends will stay in touch no matter where you go or what you do. I'm lucky to have been blessed with a few. Rob Johnson is the best friend I've ever known. He's been there during the good and bad times and offered encouragement when times were tough. I wish everybody had a friend as golden as Rob.

I choose to be very close with my immediate family. We fight and argue about many things but we always know that we love each other. In the end, that's all that matters. Forgiving family members is a lot harder than forgiving a friend. Even when you are angry as hell, you still see them often. Forgiving and forgetting has to be much quicker. My family depends on me and I also depend on them. It's hard to explain but we need each other and help one another daily. I'm proud of my family and wouldn't trade them for anything. Those that read this....I love you very much, thanks for being there for me, even when I'm a total asshole! Thanks.

Chicks, Hotties, and Ladies

I've been alone for quite some time now. The reason is pretty simple, I can't put up with their bullshit long enough to get to know a woman. I'm very set in my ways and don't care to change. Why is it that every woman wants to change a guy? I'm not changing unless my clothes are dirty.

There are other reasons too, like I'm naturally pretty shy. I get extremely stupid while talking to an attractive woman too. Once the conversation is started, I'm fine...but breaking the ice eludes me. My confidence went to hell after my divorce. Women like confidence,  I just don't possess it anymore. So for all the relatives that ask about when I'm getting married again..probably never! You don't have to worry either..I'm not gay! Gross.